3 mistakes of my life

to err is human and to forgive divine... but sometimes u err and there is no one to forgive u. these are errors that effect only you... i am touseef, final year engg and these are the mistakes of my life....


this is my final sem in engineering and in 5 months i would be a professional in an alien world, out of this comfort zone that ive been in...
today when i look back at my life so far, i realize with deep despondency that it could have been much better and much more interesting had i taken a few decisions differently..
yesterday i was taking a psychometric test which is supposed to show you what ur strengths and weaknesses are and how you would improve on them.. i just couldnt believe that the result of a 20 minute test could explain to me things that i couldnt learn in my 20 year's life... but when i got down to note the mistakes of my life, i realize that the results of the test were apt, atleast in my case...
my analysis showed that i always took others opinion over mine.. and these decisions have altered the position that i am in...
the first mistake was after 10th standard when i took MPC... i remember it was nov 2002 at a party that my dad's friends reminded me that i was in 10th and was reaching the most important phase of my life i.e intermediate (funny these same words had been used for 10th and later on for my engg too). they asked me what i wanted to do and i casually replies 'CEC'.. the expression on their faces made me reflect on my sentence to affirm that i did not use anything untoward... 'but why cec, you are a good student?'... now what does being a good or a bad student have to do with choosing a stream... but when you are small and as naive as i was at that time, you take any advice coming your way especially if it is wrapped with a bit of flattery... 'you are a good student touseef, you should not take cec' these words kept ringing in my ears.. yeah im a good student and good students dont take cec... so what do the good students take? my uncle answered that for me.. we go 6 months ahead in time when my uncle calls me from india and tells me "congrats touseef, you have got an admission i narayana jr college in MPC stream".. ohhh so good students take admission in MPC... (at that time i thought they gave admission in narayana on merit) ok... thank god i have people who take these decisions for me... so we get into intermediate life where i study 6-8 hrs daily for abt 2 years and get a good rank in eamcet..
now my second mistake in life.. which stream to choose in engg? now where do the good students go? i didnt like my inter life so i dont consult the people i consulted before.. i ask my intermediate lecturers and pat comes the reply... "ofcourse you should take ECE touseef, thats what the toppers choose.."... so now i felt real proud... a month before counselling started, i had actually decided on the stream and college where i was going.. (college was it seems a foregone conclusion in my case).. now if this is not long term planning, then what is? i have a month ahead where all those lazy guys are still confused over what stream and college to choose and i now had a perfect vision in front of me.. i felt proud of myself... its another matter that the only thing i knew about ece was that it stood for electronics and communications engineering and the only thing about mj was its address... but then i earned this place through eamcet right.. i again pity those fellas who are going around listening to different opinions and more so i pitied those who decided a course because they had an interest in the subject... i mean how could you have an interest in the subject? what rubbish.. who are you to decide which stream is better? leave that to the experts like i did.. i go to my jr college and distribute sweets among my lecturers and thank them for guiding me... i go to the counselling center and at my turn the counsellor asked "which stream and college? to which i replied "mjcet, ece" then he gave me his advice and these are words that i will remember all my life... "listen son, i was in your position 20 yrs back and i chose mvsr, ece and trust me i repent it now.. had i chosen civil engg at that time, i wouldnt have had the time to sit here" and i was thinking why doesnt this old man just shut up and give me what i want.. he's just one man compared to the half dozen lecturers i asked for advice and the dozens of family and friends who had commended my 'intelligent' decision... so i finally end up in mjcet,ece... and b4 entering college i thought in ece we are taught latest wireless technologies, how to make cellphones etc...


the third and most crucial mistake that i have made so far and fortunately this is one i can still make up for is the way i have led my life so far... i have studied a lot in my inter life and in my engg life although i havent studied as much, i still havent managed or given due time to my friends... those that i have left behind in my school and jr college life and i fear i am doing the same now... yeah ofcourse i hang around a lot of ppl and have fun with them put i fear that like i had preferred studies over friends previously, i might be doing the same now....

when i look around at the kind of friend circle my brothers have, i feel that this is one place where i have definitely lacked.. perhaps good students dont deserve good friends... plz this is not to offend any of my friends, its just that i feel ive been lacking in this department.... perhaps its mostly i who is to blame and since i know this is the case, i believe the last few months of engg will be reserved solely for friends.. no studies, no more attending regularly... this time will be just to make new friends and strengthen old friendships... i hope everyone helps me in this one....

meanwhile the experts in my life have begun to congratulate me for getting placed and also that my engineering is coming to an end... they ask me what i am doing next... they want the 'good student' to go for an ms or join a company but arent satisfied when i say i want to do an mba... but now ive learned not to get swayed by these opinions... from now on, i will control what i do... just imagine, had i not made my first mistake, i might as well have completed my first year of mba... all the gyaan that i blindly listened to has effectively cost me a year... all those samaritans might be pleased to see that i have travelled the path that they have shown me, even though i am still as naive about ece as i was at the outset...

so here i am again... i am touseef, final year engg, never made the important decisions of my life, but from now i will be incharge of my life... i will make the decisions.. ofcourse i will listen to others and value the opinons but the final decision will be mine..... for good or for worse.....


dedications....
1) aamer, whose story is quite similar to mine and who has discussed this with me for 2 hrs...
2) all my other friends, i will try to value u guys even more than i have before...
3) my mom, who has always told me that a man is rich or poor not by his financial position but by the number of friends that he has...
4) the counsellor who advised me to take civil engg. sorry sir i heard to everyone else but you when it shud've been the other way round.. i now understand what you meant and i support your view.. and 20 years later when i tell the same, i hope my son/daughter listen to me and then use their discretion
5) to anyone who has cared to read this blog.. i hope you take charge of the decisions you make from now...
6) to anyone getting into junior college... listen to ur heart but at the same time, be reasonable...
7)to anyone getting into engg... do not go with the flow... civil is better than ece on any given day...